Snow faflling outside the window, remeniscent of a whitewash on the earth, a cleansing of our lives.



...?...




And that's as far as my train of thought remans in the open. after that everything winds through unfamiliar forest and over rushing streams and rivers while i sit behind looking at the sace into which the tracks disappear, unable to follow them through the trees and undergrowth. Over the sloping and falling and twisting and winding ground. I can no longer weave pretty pictures on the page to paint picures of my demented world within your minds. I cannot pull the moss from the trees to reveal the rudimentary but intricate carvings in the dark wood which once inhabited my every thought and display the jumble of my mind, echoing the twists and turns which hide the train from my view.
the moss is too thick and when it finaly peels away from the bark, it does so to reveal clean, bare trees. no evidence that i was ever there. no resulting impact from the time i spent there. the decades my mind worked, the months my body retreated, the mere seconds left evidents of my presence.
all i can do anymore to explain my thoughts, emotions or visions is to put them blatently out there, in the world. to leave them alone and unprotected.
To simply say that i love him, he means the world to me. To settle for just saying, i feel so very alone. My voice, my companions, my faeries. all have gone into hiding, leaving me all alone.
perhaps it's because of him. ji found him, so i dont need them so much anymore. but now, when he's gone, i have NO cocmpany. noone to talk to or play with. i miss the comfort they once gave m e.
for those few of you ( or perhaps just one) who may remember. I think i may have found my Spirit. The One who would stay with me at night, hold me and warm me untill i drifted into sleep. who would comfort me when i woke trembling or screaming. it's the arm i feel round me every night and every morning while i'm with him. I wouldn't trade finding my spirit for anything. and he means more than the world to me.